hey everyone!
i dont know if this happens to everyone, probably not, but it happens to me and for some reason it doesnt seem healthy? no, well i dont know the word but it just seems off. and that is obsessing over likes. whether is on facebook (yeah, no one goes on fb anymore, i know), tumblr, twitter, flickr, instagram, or any other social media. tbh i dont use flickr and i have a twitter to have a twitter but i never tweet, and im taking a break from tumblr beause im bored of it at the moment. so what does that leave us? no not facebook. we are over facebook apperantly. well i go there when im bored but i never really post pictures. SO, what does that leave us? yep, insta!
i feel like i have this unhealthy habit whenever i post a picture i obsessively check to see how many likes i get. like every two minutes i check again and again and again. i feel stupid doing it as well, but i like (haha get it? yeah no im not that funny...) to see WHO likes my pictures, whether its someone im really intimidated from my school or someone i used to have the biggest crush on from first grade. and like if certain people who usually like my pictures dont im like whats different with this picture? when they probably just havent seen it in their feed. i feel as though no one else does this, that its only me that cares about likes, mostly because lots of the people i follow have upwards of 80 or 90 likes everytime (i dont. usually i have about 50/60). then i creep on people and look at their follower count/how many people they follow and i think 'oh you have lots of likes for not a lot of follower' or vice versa and it bothers me that i do this! like i just feel worse and worse because i compare myself to these other people! UGH. I NEED TO STOPPPPPPPP. it shouldnt matter how many likes i get compared to someone else my age. likes shouldnt determine how pretty or how "cool" or "popular" you are. and maybe they dont! maybe this is all in my head, maybe im just super insecure and think too much but who knows? its just a pet peeve of mine but i ONLY see myself do it, so im just annoyed at myself.
ok.... well, yeah i hope you dont think im a weird creepy stalker freak now! (well actually i probably seem like it now reading this over..) anyway i just had to get this off my shoulders and im going to go now. and attempt at living my "instagram life" NOT CARING!! lol jokes idk if i can do that. but i'll try. maybe i'll delete the app but not my account. whatever. im really going now. promise. im pretty bad with online goodbyes. ttyl.
xx naomi
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